Who’s To Say Patience is a Virtue?

My mother used to tell me that patience is a virtue. I have long contended that if this was the case, it was not a virtue I was bestowed with.

6 AM: Alarm, roll-over, desperately in need of water, but oh no – you need to grab that tacky pink basal thermometer instead! You lie there waiting for the three magical beeps which will release you from your stationery horizontal state and allow you that dash to the bathroom only to notice as you flip on the light that your temperature is not following any pattern whatsoever that will allow you to determine when you’re fertile. If this sounds familiar then you have probably not been off your birth control long enough for your hormones to mellow out and get back to a normal rhythm. You also have the patience of a lioness standing over her fresh prey like me. Don’t worry, your body will eventually make sense then you’ll look back at these moments and wonder who that lunatic sleeping next to your spouse was.