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The Decision

03/15/2011

As you have no doubt noted from the title of this blog, I’m a super-linear thinker who happens to work as an engineer, oh and I’m also married to an engineer. As such we are both linear thinkers who approach problems and decisions in methodical and logical ways.

  • Decision to move in together because I was being bought out of a rent controlled apartment: $$ + Nearly Ready to Move In Together – Pain of Moving = Us in Our 1st Apartment Together.
  • Decision to get married: $$ + Trip to Hawaii – Food Poisoning = Proposal on the Beach.
  • Decision to buy our house: Salaries + Life Long Ambition – Down Payment = New Homeowners.

So it came as no surprise to either of us that we approached the decision to try to have a baby in a methodical way. Do we have enough money to support a child? Pay for daycare and time off for maternity leave? Will I be able to take the time away from my demanding job to take maternity leave? How much time do I want to take off versus what we can afford versus the time my job is held for? What do our companies provide for benefits? What does the government provide for benefits? (Responses to these questions in later posts.)

Yet with all these questions and logical thinking, you can’t escape the most important question: Are we ready? In our case, I answered “Yes” to that question a few months ahead of my husband. I would like to blame the biological clock, but I also think that it was my engineering brain that lead me down the path. Steady job? Check. Love of life? Check. Marriage? Check. Homeowner? Check. What is the next check box? Baby – No check. Just a lonely box without a check and I couldn’t handle it. I always seek a definitive response to each question, when the response stopped being “No” on the baby issue, it logically had to move to a “Yes”. My husband took a different approach, his primary question was “Am I ready for my entire lifestyle to change?” His initial response was “No”, but after several months of me giving him space and not bringing it up he changed that response to “Yes”. I was floored — the first time I’ve ever taken the passive approach in my life and it paid off. We’re going to try to have a baby!

And so the next phase begins: Obsessive Compulsive Preparation.

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